I am going to preface this post by saying this is not a woe is me..poor me, no one loves me, post! This is something that I have struggled with for years that I feel like finally the light bulb has clicked on for me! Maybe this will encourage people that have felt inadequate at some point in their life. I have moved around a lot in my life... I am 26 and if I were to do some quick addition I have moved.. roughly 12 times. I am a friendly person, so I don't have a problem making friends... just making them stick around:) In most aspects of my life I have a "I don't care if you like me or not so deal with it" kind of attitude until it comes to my friends. I think a lot of my insecurities stem from high school. I had a rough time in high school with some mean girls that at one point had been my best friends. They just turned on me one day.. I went from having a great group of close friends, to being totally alone. Because of that experience I really want people to like me! I know that there is nothing wrong with that.. UNTIL... my identity and self worth is wrapped up in my friends and how "others" make me feel. I try SO hard to be a good friend, but it never seems to be enough. I am the person that the people I consider to be my best friends don't consider me to be theirs. People like me for a while.. then they move on... It makes me never feel good enough. The other night I was lying in bed, sad, wishing I had a friend that liked me as much as I like them.. when it HIT me! I should not be looking to friends for acceptance and self worth. God is the only One that will never disappoint me and will ALWAYS love me! It is nice to have friends and be liked, but I don't have to fall apart when I don't feel loved or appreciated, b/c the only person that can fill that void in me is God! NOt to mention, Satan knows my weaknesses and plays on those. I am sure a lot of what I feel is in my head.. So i have decided.. as of today... Satan will no longer make me feel worthless b/c God thinks I'm priceless!
On Monday we went to my parents house so I could celebrate Father's day with MY dad! We had a cookout, ate homemade ice cream, and Presley swam in her pool:)